My Journey as A Kabbalist

End of Summer Semester!

2009-07-28T16:56:00.002-04:00

So today was my last day of summer semester! Woohoo! I'm so happy for it to be over with! It was my first time taking classes over the summer and it really does go by so fast. I took FCCS with Dr. Chattopadhay and it was really a fun class. It was not that challenging and everyone in the class was wonderful! I made so many new friends which I always love :)!

The end of the summer also means it's getting closer and closer until Pavel leaves for UNC. :(! I'm sad to see him go but I know he has to. The business school there is one of the best internationally and he will make so much more money with a degree from there. I'm supporting him the best I can but these past few days I've been really sad. We've been together since November 12th, 2006 and over these past almost 3 years (wow) he has become not only my boyfriend but my best friend. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and to not that he is going away for school makes me so sad.

Kabbalah seems to always talk to me in ways I can't understand. Like it knows exactly what I am going through and finds a way to get me through it. I am taking an online class and my rabbi recommended "The Essential Zohar: The Source of Kabbalistic Wisdom" by Rav P.S. Berg. I ordered it online and started reading it on the gym last night. I was stressed out about my presentation today and feeling down because I knew Pavel would be leaving soon. On page 11 it started talking about how Kabbalah is not necessarily physical but also spiritual. Berg compared it to riding a bike: like once you learn it, it never leaves you. He then went into talking about how people leave.

This what he had to say:
"As time passes and the relationship grows, we begin to know our friend's mind and heart. We begin to 'see' this person with our spiritual eyes as well as our physical senses. This may take place over a period of years. We may see our friend every day, or perhaps only less frequently, byt once the relationship has passed a certain point face-to-face contact becomes less important. Long separations may take place with no effect on the relationship. We may miss seeing our friend, but this is really the absence of a physical experience, because in truth we are deprived only at the level of our physical senses. The emotional and spiritual bond that has formed is not affected by absence, because it exists beyond the dimension of physical experience. Our friend's mind and heart remains interwoven with our own, unchanged."

I tear up every single time I read that last sentence. Since beginning to read the book last night, I have re read that paragraph about 20 times. Any time that I am missing Pavel I will read it. Of course I will fly up to see him as much as I can but it will be so different to what we are use to.

I know I haven't blogged in awhile because I have been so busy but I have still been studying Kabbalah just as much, if not more. This experience just really meant so much to me and I thought I would share it.

Hope everyone is doing well. I love you all :)

Robert Waxman, Update, and Pictures!!

2009-04-15T20:59:00.007-04:00

The following is written by Robert Waxman and I found it SO interesting so I HAD to share it! It's about Jesus and Kabbalah which is kind of surprising since traditionally, Judaism is not associated with Jesus. I personally love Jesus :)

What kind of religious philosophy were Jesus and his disciples studying ?
They couldn't have been studying Christianity because The New Testament wasn't completed until 325 CE (almost 300 years after the crucifixion). They surely weren't studying Buddhism or Hinduism, so this leaves just one possibility they must have been studying the timeless, ancient wisdom of Jewish mysticism known as Kabbalah (which was very popular in Israel during this time).

Jesus veiled many Kabbalistic truths when he spoke to the masses (Matthew 13:34). "All these things Jesus spoke unto the multitudes in parables; and without a parable he spake not unto them" (KJV). Especially, when Jesus referred to the innermost power of the soul, he spoke in metaphors. An example of such a metaphor, is when Jesus refers to the "God-within" or illuminated soul: "The Kingdom of Heaven is within you..." (Luke 17:20-21, KJV).

He also refers to "The Father in secret": "...pray to thy Father which is in secret..." (Matthew 6:18, KJV). This is another Kabbalistic reference to the eternal spark known as "neshamah" or the God-like quality of each individual soul.

When Jesus refers to himself as the "Son of Man" (Mark 10:45, KJV), he is using a Kabbalistic phrase that was also used by Ezekiel and Daniel in The Jewish Bible, "Son of man, speak to the children of thy people" (Ezek. 33:2, JPS), "there came with the clouds of heaven one like unto a son of man" (Dan. 7:13, JPS). In Kabbalah, the term "Son of Man" describes the soul's downward refection of the original man "created" on the sixth day (Gen. 1:27, JPS). This original man is known in Kabbalah as "The Adam Kadmon" (the first and last Adam).

Paul refers to Jesus as the "the last Adam": 1 Corinthians 15:45, "The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit" (KJV). This title of A-dam Kad-mon is defined as, "the one and only (or only begotten) 'Over Soul' of all humanity." According to Kabbalah,, the first Adam breaks apart (or is crucified) into trillions of "little souls". Each descending soul becomes a "Son of Man" that is striving to reach spiritual perfection. When these trillions of souls have achieved "messianic consciousness", they will reunite to form "the last Adam". This "resurrection" of the last Adam Kadmon will come at "the end of times", or the end of the physical Universe (that gave its life for the sake of all mankind; Einstein's Big Crunch). At this final stage in matter, all souls will experience an "ascension" back to pure Spirit, or the One Divine Source.

When examining the sayings of Jesus, it becomes apparent that he was familiar with the ancient wisdom teachings of Kabbalah and the messianic power of each individual soul. His intended message came straight from the heart of Kabbalistic philosophy: "the soul enters into this Universe by immaculate conception
(as spirit falls into matter), and then exits when the Universe comes to an end (as matter ascends back into spirit)."

-Robert Waxman

Okay~ Now time for my blogging! It has been forever since I have posted! I have just been so busy with school. Especially now since it is getting towards the end of the semester. I am really hoping to keep my 4.0 and the only class I am concerned about is Communications. I thought that was going to be my easiest class since I am so good at public speaking but there are so many terms and book work that had to be done. Anyways, I made the decision to take summer classes with hopes of graduating early. Also, my scholarship kicks in after 30 credit hours and I'm at like 24 after this semester so I will be in school for free this Fall! yay!

I just started the book: "God Wears Lipstick" It's Kabbalah for women by Karen Berg and it is one of the best books I have EVER read!! I absolutely love it!! If you are a female interested in Jewish Mysticism I strongly recommend it! If you want to borrow my copy, message me and I'll let you know when I'm done with it.

Passover was Sunday and we incorporated Easter and Passover into one holiday! Puffin and I painted Easter/Passover eggs! I did a Star of David on mine.

There is a Bible study group at my college and I think I'm going to go next week. I am just nervous about what they will think of me. My "bible" is the Zohar however, Kabbalah definitely still deals a lot with the bible. I am looking very forward to going. I talked to my friend who was in it and she said that "no one really cares what religion you are" and that they "just care about sharing the same belief" so I thought that was really awesome. Some people are so judgemental and narrow minded!

Here are some pictures from the past month or so:

This one was at my Phi Theta Kappa initiation with Lieutenant Poythress. He was the key guest speaker and is predicted to be Georgia's next governor:

This was at Zoo Atlanta 2009 and I LOVED this bird:

This was at Opera Thursday night (4/9) for Lil Jon..haha!:

This was at the Bodies Exhibit with my amazing chapter!:

And that's pretty much it for now! I will try to update more often but I can't make any promises! After this semester is over, I have two weeks off (one of which I will be at the beach w/ my family and puffin) then it's back to school for summer semester! I'm a busy little beaver!!:)

International Kabbalah Congress 2009

2009-02-10T22:12:00.004-05:00

The International Kabbalah Congress was last week and it amazed me. Of course, I was unable to go because of school but I watched live footage and “chatted” on reflections with other Kabbalists around the world. What really amazed me was the diversity. Kabbalah originally derived from Judaism and is still defined as Jewish Mysticism, but there were people there from all around the world and from all different backgrounds. I think that Kabbalah has a sense of bringing people together. There were so many different people there all celebrating the same thing: Kabbalah. Look at this video if you want to know more!!

I just feel so empowered being a Kabbalist. It has changed my life so much and I LOVE sharing it! I want everyone to know how much of an impact it has made on my life. My whole purpose in life now is to “find the upper light” now and every action I make is designed to fulfill that. I make mistakes and I am obviously not perfect but I’m trying my best.

I had someone ask about the difference between Judaism and Kabbalah. They are NOT the same thing. I am not “jewish.” I am a Kabbalist. I thought that I have been very clear on this in my past posts but I guess some people are still confused. Since Kabbalah is a jewish based religion, I celebrate all of the main holidays ie: Hanukkah, Passover, Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashannah. Facebook me if you have another question so that I can get back faster to you specifically. I do not update this blog often enough.

The Western Civ test I was so worried about went so well. I got a 96! Woohoo. I was so happy and relieved. I got a 95 on my first paper too! So school is going great this semester. I really like it a lot better than I thought I would. Yesterday was Rachel’s birthday so we all went to dinner and had a lot of fun. This weekend is Valentine’s day which I mentioned in my last blog. Pavel got nominated and voted as vice president in finance for Delta Sigma Pi so I'm super proud of him but he's going to be a busy puffin! I got invited into Phi Theta Kappa which is an honorary fraternity/sorority. I'm going to join because it looks really good on resumes. I decided not to get involved in greek life but this isn't "social." I posted sooner than I thought I would so I don’t have pictures yet but I will next time.

Karma, Dharma, and Reincarnation

2009-01-27T21:50:00.001-05:00

School has been going great! I’m very busy but I love it. English and Communications are my favorite subjects. I like Political Science but Western Civilization is way too boring for me! It’s so dry. I’ve been studying almost all day for my first test in there tomorrow. I hope it’s not too brutal. The professor gives a study guide which I am very fond of! Pavel and I are doing great as always! I could not ask for anything more in a relationship. I can not wait for Valentines Day. I know this sounds cheesy but it’s one of my favorite holidays. (probably because I’ve never been single). We are going to a fondue restaurant called Melting Pot which is close and somewhere we both like. I ordered his “main” gift offline from the company’s direct website and it took almost a month to get here. I was getting so nervous and thinking that customs had confiscated puffin’s valentines day gift! Haha. It came in today and looks great! I can’t wait to give it to him. I can’t be too detailed because I know he reads this!

Anyways, back to Kabbalah!! I want to talk about my beliefs on what happens to us after we die. It’s kind of a touchy subject so it’s not brought up very often. To sum it up: I believe in Karma, Dharma, and Reincarnation. When I was a Christian I always hypocritically believed in Karma. I know it’s not a Christian belief but I’ve always liked the idea of “what goes around comes around.” Since being Kabbalist I have been doing some serious studying on the concept. Karma is what happens to you in your next life. Dharma is what decides this. I have been trying to build up good karma but I definitely have some bad karma built up too. Dharma, for example, would be like helping others for the joy of helping them. If you have done good Dharma in this life, you will have good Karma and in your next life you will live a happy life. I don’t believe in “heaven” or “hell” in the traditional form. I believe that people create their own heaven and their own hell. It’s not the traditional view ie: burning in hell, heaven with golden gates, etc.

Have you ever had that feeling when you first meet someone that’s like “wow, I feel like I’ve known you forever!” Well I think that is literal. I think that if this happens, you knew them in a past life and you have found each other in the present life. I also believe strongly in soul mates. Pavel is truly my soul mate. He is my best friend and I couldn’t picture my life without him in it. I think that in my next life we will find each other and be together forever and ever, life after life.

I’m also going to do a little rant: So I signed up for the “Google Alert.” If you are not familiar with it, you enter a key word and it will e-mail you daily or weekly when there is a new article or blog with that key word. I signed up for this service the other day with Kabbalah as my key word. I signed up for the daily alerts. So far, EVERY article has been about Guy Richie, Madonna, etc. It’s so ridiculous. It frustrates me that something that means so much to me only gets attention because of celebrities.

That’s all I have for this time. Next time will probably be after Valentine’s Day since I’m so bad about updating this. I will post pictures. I am so excited to wear my new dress! I hope everyone is having a good semester!!

My Cairn Terrier

2009-01-11T13:02:00.001-05:00

So I also have a killer cairn terrier :)! His name is Louie but we call him Louger! (Louie+tiger)

2009-01-07T22:20:00.014-05:00

Hanukkah was amazing! My parents & Pavel were supportive and prayed with me. I am in love with my prayer book. I want to learn Hebrew so bad I can't even express it. The book has both translations and hopefully one day I will be able to read the hebrew text. I went to lunch with my friends who are part Jewish and they helped me with the pronunciation. I was actually very surprised that I could do the cough sounding "ch" lol! I proudly wore my yarmulke at night fall on the 8 days of Hanukkah! At first I had trouble with it staying on but two bobby pins were the magic touch ;)! We did Christmas as well since my parents are Christian and Pavel is Russian Orthodox (basically christianity) . It was really neat to open Christmas and Hanukkah gifts. Celebrate Jesus' birthday and the lighting of the menorah. I really enjoyed it. I think we did very well balancing the two holidays.

I also want to clear up my views on Jesus. So many of my Christian friends ask me if I believe in Jesus. The answer is: YES! That is the main difference between me and a traditional Jew. I am a Kabbalist. I was raised as a Christian. Even though Christianity is no longer my religion does not mean that I don't believe in Jesus. I know that this might sound kind of harsh and I don't mean to offend anyone but I think that there are so many religions that are searching for something that Christians have already found: Jesus. I believe that he is the Messiah, the son of God, and died for my sins. He still lives today and watches over all of us. I feel sorry for anyone that misses out on Jesus. I feel like I am often misunderstood by being a Kabbalist since it is JEWISH mysticism. If you have any questions please feel free to ask me. I promise I will not be offended. When I taught Kabbalah to my religion class last semester there were many people in there who had never heard of it and the rest who had had only heard of it through Madonna so I promise I will not judge you lol! I love sharing Kabbalah and hearing feedback...even if it is negative.

So now that is cleared up, Happy New Year 2009! yay! 2008 was a very big year for me. I graduated high school and started college. Two very big turning points in my life. Pavel and I also celebrated our 2 year anniversary on November 12th and of course, converted to Kabbalah (kind of a biggie)! It was a good year for me but I'm looking forward to what 2009 will hold for me. This semester starts Monday. I am taking Political Science, English 1102, Western Civilization, and Communications. I honestly liked my schedule better last semester but I'm very happy that I do not have to worry about Math!! whew! This summer I will probably take one class and get certified to substitute teach in Cobb County with a focus on High School. I really want to get use to the class room environment before I start student teaching so that it is not so overwhelming. In the Fall, I will substitute maybe 2-3x a month on Fridays when I don't have classes. I'm very excited!

Also, I was thinking the other day of how lucky I am to be able to practice Kabbalah. I mean, in some countries there isn't freedom of religion. For example, what if you knew you were a Christian but were forced to practice Sikhism or even Sufism? I love professing my faith and couldn't imagine being embarrassed of my religious beliefs. Unfortunately, in many countries that is the case. I saw this picture on my friends facebook and it really expresses how I felt:

It might not have much to do with religion but it speaks so loudly when it comes to the different lifestyles that occur in different countries. Despite ignorance, we are very fortunate to live in America.

Hanukkah!

2008-12-20T21:39:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow will be the first day of Hanukkah. This is my first time celebrating the holiday so I am SO excited! My family is doing "Christmukkah" because we will be celebrating both holidays. All Jewish holidays start at sun down so we will light the first candle around 6ish. I have a collection of prayers and verses that I will be reading. Most of them come from the Torah & Zohar and I have a "Sabbath and Festival Prayer Book" that I have chosen a few prayers from too. I will wear my yarmulke for the first time. It is very cute. It is hand knitted, navy blue, and has a circle of star of davids. I am going to see my friend Melissa perform before she leaves for Kenya after we light the candle so I will wear my yarmulke to that event too. I think it will be interesting to see people's responses.

For those of you who do not what Hanukkah is or what it is about, it is the festival of lights. Here is Hanukkah in my words: The Jews were sent into exile in Babylon after they built their second temple. They came back after being in exile. The jews were dispersed but the ones who returned had only a little oil left and they didn't think that it would burn long at all. Miraculously, it burnt for 8 days. That is my short version. If you want to learn more google it or read books. There is a lot of info on it!

I will write a post after Hanukkah to give a reflection!

I finished my first semester of college with all A's. I am very proud of myself. Next semester I will be taking political science, western civilization, communications, and english 1102. I'm just glad that I don't have math next semester! woohoo!

Tikkun Olam

2008-12-06T13:00:00.002-05:00

So for about the past month I have been focusing a lot of my reading and studies on Tikkun Olam. In a nutshell, I think that it is the concept of making the world a better place. Many rabbis have translated it to "repairing the world." I find it to be such an interesting concept. I think that it is very similar to Karma (which I believe in).

Basically from all the many readings that I have done, this is what I have come up with:

Kabbalists believe that God created the world to be imperfect. It obviously is imperfect with all of the wars, discrimination, hate, etc. that continuously go on. Tikkun Olam, like I said before, is "repairing the world." Everyone comes with baggage from a past life and must do good things in this life to erase the bad. Tikkun Olam is basically the concept/practice of doing good things and improving God's imperfect world. I personally think that God wanted to give us a challenge. He made us so capable of everything yet some of us take advantage of the powers that God has blessed us with.

I really want to help everyone. Like I see things that make me so sad. For the past year, I have strongly been affected by the genocide in Darfur. I think the news is trying to cover it up because they don't want Americans to know how bad the conflict really is. If you have no knowledge of the crisis in Darfur then I strongly suggest that you look it up. I feel so helpless when I hear about things like that. I want to go help them but I wouldn't even know where to start. Then I start to feel like a bad Kabbalist because God has given me sooo many resources and I don't know how to use them. Of course, I do what I can in our community but I want to do bigger things and make a difference.

Finals are next week so I'm kind of stressing! Good luck to everyone! love you all.

Election 2008 Result

2008-11-05T19:31:00.002-05:00

This will probably be my last post on the election and I will start blogging strictly about Kabbalah again. I voted at 11:00 AM yesterday and spent the rest of the night watching the news. It was pretty obvious that Obama was going to win around 9:00 PM. When it was officially announced I was so angry. I was angry because of all the bad things I had heard about him. That he is a socialist, a racist, the anti Christ, a terrorist, etc. I prayed and prayed about it so hard last night and throughout the day today. I realized that just because he is not the president that I personally wanted doesn't necessarily mean that he will be a bad one. I am putting all of my faith into God and not into our corrupt government. God made him our president for a reason, and can take him down if needed. God has much, much more power than Obama and our government.

I've tried to think about things on a positive side. I'm always trying to be optimistic. This has definitely been hard for me to look at the bright side but I am trying my best!
1.He is America's first black president. That is HUGE for our nation since slavery once existed here. I think that this is a
giant step forward for us.
2. He supports gay rights and as most of you know, my best friend is gay and I strongly support their rights
3. He is very, very inspirational for anyone
4. He supports giving teachers raises (yay!) and paying for college to those who commit to teaching
5. He wants to teach sex education with knowledge of contraceptives and possible consequences v. abstinence only sex
education. I strongly support this because it is the individual's choice.. not the unattractive 50 year old virgin trying to
teach it to them.
6. He understands the importance of health care and that every person needs it. (I don't agree with how he plans to do this)

So that is what I've come up with so far. It took me a long, long time to come up with those. There are still many more issues that I am against but he will be our president for the next four years so we might as well make the best of it!

I will continue to pray for our nation and this is the optimistic attitude that I will try to maintain...

Politics and Election 2008

2008-10-27T15:52:00.003-04:00

So this is the first time that I am able to vote in an election. I turned 18 last september. I voted in the primary (for Mitt Romney) but that's nothing like what will be on November 4th. This election will affect every American's life in some way and I think that everyone needs to do their homework on each candidate and make an EDUCATED decision. This election could either make or break our country. I honestly don't like any of the candidates. Obama is way too liberal, Palin shoots innocent animals for FUN, and McCain just doesn't seem all there. Obama is so sketchy. I just don't see how anyone could actually want him as our president. Bob Barr is my candidate but Libertarians will never win haha. I am voting for McCain-Palin because they are the lesser of the evils. No matter who wins, we are all doomed. My classes are either cancelled or optional on Tuesday so I am willing to wait in line as long as it takes. I keep joking around as putting "Java (My Chihuahua)" on the other____ fill in option on the ballot! I seriously think he would make a better president than both of the candidates! Java-Louie '08!!

I will leave you with this beautiful, educated man:

The Perks of Being A Kabbalist

2008-10-18T21:51:00.002-04:00

I taught my religion class on Thursday :)! It went really well. I made a powerpoint and brought in my Zohar, a CD, books, and jewelry. I am so good at speaking in front of people but I got very nervous before this. I started thinking "What if people don't think I take it seriously?" and "What if people make fun of me?" Luckily, my class is awesome and very open minded. I was worried for no reason. Everyone was so intrigued. There were quite a few people in the classroom who had never even heard of Kabbalah before, and many had only heard of it because of Madonna. After I finished teaching, people who I have never even talked before came up and thanked me and told me they had a better understanding. That meant so much to me. Like just those few words made my day. Two people in the class borrowed my books and three others are going out to by The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg which is what I suggested.

Click here to view my Power Point on Kabbalah

^it's pretty brief because those are just the points I went over but it's a good outline if you want to learn more!

Teaching the class just confirmed to me that I want to be a teacher. I was so "in the zone" while I was up there. I loved it and I am officially declaring my major next Fall.

I know this has nothing to do with Kabbalah but I love my chihuahua and Pavel took this very funny picture of him the other day! We titled it "Killer Chihuahua"

Menorah, Temple, Yom Kippur, School

2008-09-30T22:25:00.003-04:00

That is the menorah that I mentioned in my last post. It is so gorgeous. I can't wait to use it!! It is hand painted and made in Israel! It is vintage so I am afraid to clean it because I love the rustic look.

Rosh Hashanah went very well. I enjoy all of the Jewish holidays that come along with being Kabbalist. Yom Kippur starts next week on October 8th! From what I have read, it is basically a day of repentance. In my opinion, this is the most important and spiritual holiday. On Yom Kippur you sacrifice things in your life like bathing, cosmetics, and intimacy. fasting is usually done. I am looking forward to fasting. I have class at 11 so if I feel like i am going to pass out I will have no other option. haha.

I am very excited because Judaism will be the next chapter that we cover in my Religion class. I read the book earlier and Kabbalah has a small section. I spoke with my teacher and he said that I can talk about Kabbalah for like 10 minutes to the class when he is ready to cover it.

School is going so well. I've received A's on all of my papers/essays in English. We have papers due every 2 weeks so it's definitely tiring but I want to be a high school English teacher so I need to get accustomed to it! Math is surprisingly well. I got an 86 on the first test but I have an A in the class since I have done all of the extra credit. I have a test Thursday so hopefully my grade won't drop. Art Appreciation is good..it's interesting. I had my first test (80 questions) in there today & I think I made at least a B. Religion is my favorite class of course and it's going amazing.

What is going on with the economy? Economists are predicting a "modern day great depression." That is not good news and very, very scary. The gas shortage in the south east has affected everyone. People can not make it to work, school, doctor, etc. because they can't find gas. My mom and I were watching the news the other day and the lottery numbers were 666. How ominous is that??

I have found a temple that I am going to become a member of! I am so excited. It is called Temple Emanuel and it is located in Dunwoody. It is a Reform synagogue which is what I wanted. The orthodox and conservative jewish synagogues are so traditional. I would have felt very out of place. The men and women do not sit together and most of the service is in Hebrew. The Reform is much more modern and perfect for Kabbalists since most of us convert.

http://www.te-atl.com/

^That is the link to my new temple. Our Sabbath is held on Saturday and the service is early in the morning.

Rash Hashanah and Update

2008-09-27T21:59:00.004-04:00

Rash Hashanah is tomorrow! It is the Jewish new year. I am very excited to celebrate it for the first time. I am even more excited for Hanukkah! I am getting very frustrated because I have gone to every store you can think of to try and find Hanukkah items and I have found none. They have Christmas stuff everywhere but Hanukkah stuff is no where to be found. I felt so discriminated:(! If anyone knows where Hanukkah stuff is available please let me know. I found a very unique Menorah online and ordered it a few days ago. It is one of a kind. It is made in Israel, hand painted, and vintage. I think it's gorgeous and I can't wait to receive it in the mail-- I'll post pictures.

I love being Kabbalist. I always get asked so many questions and I love answering them and just talking to people about it. It seems like almost everyone I have talked to has had some type of misconception. My friend Marc is also a Kabbalist and he is the only Kabbalist friend I have. A guy approached me in the student center the other day and asked me about my red bracelet. I explained to him that I am a Kabbalist and he said he was too but didn't wear the red string. I was so happy to meet a Kabbalist...especially at school!

I would love for Pavel to convert. It is going to have to be his decision though. Since he was born in Eastern Europe he is Russian Orthodox but isn't VERY religious. I tell him about Kabbalah all the time. He bought me a gold Star of David necklace and always encourages me. I know he supports me but I would just love for him to be Kabbalist.

I can see a lot of changes in myself since becoming Kabbalist. I am focusing so much on not being reactive. This is a major struggle for me. Someone pulled out in front of me the other day and usually, I would have honked the horn and given him/her a mean gesture. But this time, I didn't do anything. I thought about how maybe their wife was in labor or maybe their dog had gotten sick and they were in a hurry. Being proactive and not reactive is one of the main principles of Kabbalah. I am also trying to not be judgmental. This is another struggle for me. I am so bad about judging others for physical features. I know it's wrong, but I'm guilty. I was meditating the other day and focusing on nothing but my breathing. I had thoughts of others come into my head and the negative thoughts I had about them. I let it go and made it nothing but a memory. I meditated close to an hour and felt so much better afterwards. I also prayed a lot for help and strength. God is really helping me in my journey. I know that I could not do this without Him.

School is good, Pavel is good, family is good, life is good. I am very blessed and will never take that for granted.

I will update soon, love you all.

Tree of Life

2008-09-22T20:49:00.004-04:00

The Kabbalah Tree of Life is believed to originate from Genesis 2:9. Kabbalistically, the Tree of Life is an explanation as well as growth and the way to find God.

No (red) Strings Attached

2008-09-17T20:56:00.006-04:00

http://shopkitson.com/index.php?pageId=2&product_sku=079816

^I've been asked where Kabbalah jewelry is available. That is a link for a bracelet like the one I wear. It is the exact same one that Lauren Conrad has. Kitson has a great selection of Hamsa bracelets and necklaces.

So what exactly is this red string that we wear? It is believed to protect Kabbalists from the evil eye and bring good fortune. It is meant to be worn on the left wrist and be put on by someone you love. Many Kabbalists believe that you wear it until it falls off then you will have good luck and protection. I am still not 100% clear on this because I am still reading but the matriarch Rachel is also honored by the red string. Psalm 33 is also recited and holds a very great importance to Kabbalists.

I love my red string and I always feel comforted and safe now.

Baby Kabbalist

2008-09-16T21:59:00.001-04:00

I created this blog to keep my friends and family updated on my life and my new religion: Kabbalah.

I've told most of you by now that I converted to Kabbalah this past summer but if this is news to you then feel free to ask me any questions.

The Kabbalah is not just a religion, but a way of life. The teachings are so spiritual and unique that I find myself reading sentences twice just to make sure I am interpreting it correctly.

I am currently reading The Power of Kabbalah by Yehuda Berg. If you are interested in studying Kabbalah I would strongly recommend this book. It gives everyday scenarios to understand the complex belief system.

Here are a few things I have read that I want to share:

-Desire is one of the main aspects that the Kabbalah talks about. We ALL have desires. Kabbalah teaches that the only thing keeping us from our desires is the Curtain. On one side of the Curtain is the "1 Percent" and on the other side is the "99 Percent" On the 1% side is a world full of darkness where most of us are living. The 99% is full of what we desire and is the realm of light.

-The Light is created by God and can represent giving/the power of God. The Vessel is how we receive. God does not want us just to take things (Bread of Shame).. so we must earn Light by doing good in our every day activities.

-Resistance and being proactive instead of reactive will be the hardest concepts for me to achieve. Sure it sounds easy, but the Kabbalah teaches that you must resist accustomed activities and not react to the situations that we are so drawn to.

-The Kabbalah also teaches that judgement is wrong ...even if it is positive. The "Opponent" is the evil little voice in our heads telling us to eat the last piece of cheesecake. The Opponent also encourages us to react and to not resist. The more we please the Opponent the less chance we have of earning Light. Back to judgement; The Opponent wants us to judge others but judging is considered a sin in Kabbalah. I am so guilty of judging others. I'm not afraid to admit it. This is something that I will really have to work on. "Kabbalistically, the sin of murder is not limited to physical death; it includes character assassination."

I am going to focus on resistance this week. I will keep all of you updated on my reading and on my journey. :)